The Untold Magnet Conspiracy

Understanding the physiology and biomechanics of horses is becoming more layman friendly in this world of YouTube videos, Facebook posts, and availability of information in other forms. We are also in a Presidential Election Year and it is about time someone spoke up about the most unspoken conspiracy affecting the Horse Industry.

We should all know in this information age that there is a large magnet in the chest of every horse. Remembering that magnets both attract and repel, this can be the source of some major problems when dealing with horses. You’ve likely experienced many of these problems, you just didn’t know the true cause, or who was to blame, until now. Be sure to spread this article quickly before the Illuminati, Skulls and Bones, Big Splint Boot, or Hillary Clinton have me whacked. I also have it on good authority that George Soros is sinking millions into further polarizing this issue. Look for more on this in our next article, “The Magnet Magnate.” If anyone knows the guys from Rage Against the Machine, I could use their help on this too. Your good will could spread the word quickly enough to save my life.

Aluminum trailer manufacturers attempted to solve the magnetic repelling problems of the older steel trailers with conspiracy and gluten free, and non-magnetic, aluminum. Lots of horses were and are repelled by loading into a steel trailer. Some horses will even build the repelling charge up so that they load ok, but upon opening of the rear trailer door they would try to unload like a freight train.

Unfortunately, Ford, Chevy, and Dodge are all secretly owned by the Freemasons and the ultra-magnetized steel in those trucks comes straight from the Rockefellers.  Magnetized steel gets much worse fuel mileage too so, add to this  Big Oil’s interests in the Middle East and their massive campaign contributions to the Clinton Foundation and someone should pass a law! On second thought, that type of talk might get me a “suicide” or investigated by the IRS and the FBI would recommend not prosecuting them anyway, so what’s the point!

I’ve even come by repelling magnets in National Forests. For instance, there’s a certain stump, about ½ of a mile southeast of the Ahtus Melder campground in Kissatchie Nat’l Forrest that most of the horses that I’ve ridden past it find very repelling. I also believe that there may be more than magnets at play in this particular stump. I think the less essential essential oils may have been used in a malicious way as most of the horses also seem to snort a lot as they approach and pass this particular stump. We all know that there are miraculous essential oils, but it stands to reason that there are also essential oils with powers of evil. With their libertarian views, I have it on good authority from Mother Jones that a certain 3^rd party candidate who likes to climb mountains is behind the essential oil conspiracy. Apparently, most of the good essential oils that combat this issue, and almost all turmeric, comes from Nepal. Obviously, having climbed Mt. Everest, there are strong ties to Nepal and Tibet within that particular Libertarian. I’ll bet he’s positioned for a windfall while solving this issue, if elected.

Worse yet, Gnomes, evil servants of the Illuminati and the Koch brothers, are constantly burying very large magnets in arenas and other horse prone areas around the world! Gnomes are mischievous, ingenious, and often hippo-phobic little buggers and they love to watch us have trouble with our horses. Add to that their tunneling and materializing abilities and you’ll need a little tin foil in your helmet to ever feel safe riding again. There’s a rumor that there’s already a super-rare earth magnet in Antarctica that has trice been used, affecting both the Kentucky Derby and the Little Britches Rodeo World Finals, not to mention being responsible in some way for Dale’s death at Datona.

I’ve seen research from NPR and the BBC showing that repelling magnets are buried in the alleyway entrance, corners, under certain sponsorship banners, and in the roping boxes (especially the heading box for some reason) of 87.4% of arenas in the US alone (Arizona’s arenas being the only exceptions due to their rejection of Daylight Savings Time). Some, especially sensitive, heading horses have been known to flip over in the box from all of that magnetic repulsion. No wonder tie downs are mandatory so those poor horses can keep their front end on the ground!

I’ve even personally helped to excavate, just after a big barrel race, repelling and attracting magnets buried in alternating sequence throughout the alleyway of a major Las Vegas arena. No wonder so many of those horses had to be ponied into the arena and then would not stop after exiting. It is truly confusing to those poor horses all of the magnetic charges that they are forced to endure. No wonder so many of them lose their minds! You’ll even see some horses repelled by the first barrel as gnomes tunnel under the arena between runs. Fortunately, the arena drag fills in these tunnels every so many runs so that not every horse will be repelled. I wonder if the tractor driver knows how big of a roll he really plays in keeping those horses and riders safe?

Even though Las Vegas is involved, I think we can be certain that Trump isn’t involved in this subterfuge. Obviously, he’s long been a proponent of turning up every magnet within his control, both repelling and attracting, and being up front but unapologetic about it. I’ve just possibly made a connection between Trump, Parelli, and C. Anderson as they all seem to turn up every attracting and repelling magnet that they can find. We will explore this in a future article as my sources have not yet gotten back to me on this ploy. Also, the Donald’s mostly known to only be attracted by Eastern European magnets, so we’re probably ok.

At a major aged event cutting just this past Spring, I witnessed one of the top trainers in the country lose in the Finals when his horse was attracted to the wrong heifer and he could not break off in time for a credit earning cut on the 3rd heifer. I do have it on good authority from Glen Beck that the offending heifer was being treated for hardware disease and this was not a conspiracy. That trainer, however, is now linked to Scientology,  so, I have my doubts. Those kinda coincidences don’t just happen IMHO.

With drone technology, things have really gotten out of hand. You have likely noticed that there is at least one “out of the blue” major freak out in the finals of nearly every major dressage competition throughout the world, including the recent Olympics. Not to mention refusals caused by repelling magnets on the Cross Country and Stadium courses. I have it on good authority that the arena gnomes have gotten themselves a magnetic pulse emitter and placed it on a drone. Now, they can mess with you from 30,000 feet in orbit. If million dollar international Grand Prix horses can be affected, how are the rest of us safe? There are major implications if these magnetic interruptions are allowed to continue to affect the highest levels of competitions.

There should be massive grant funding allocated for vet schools to study this as it definitely affects us all. We’ll update you as more solid intel becomes available.